Victorious

It's winning.

It's massive awards. 

It's nationals. 

It's walking across the stage in front of hundreds of people, the Hall of Fame, writing for the nation's biggest Sourcebooks, bringing home a giant silver cup, and being ranked among the nation's top competitors. 

..........And then what?

The next year hits. Two weeks later, everyone's enjoying their summer vacations, and no one remembers how awesomely you placed. You go back to qualifiers. You scare some people, maybe. You fight to get back to nationals. You fight to place again. You fight to bring home another cup. 

And then?  That one sits there right next to last year's to gather dust in your bedroom. 

And we call it?  Victory. 

We graduate. We turn to the next page in our life book. And way too many of us leave without making an impact. We may leave with our beautiful silver trophies, and we may leave our fingerprint on the hall of fame, but how often do people leave NCFCA, and leave fingerprints on people's hearts?

When the Son of God came to earth, His goal wasn't to impress people, or gain glory for Himself. He came to touch hearts. To save hearts. He wasn't there for Him. He was there for life. 

As most of you know, nationals has always had a very special place in my heart. It's always, ALWAYS been my goal to advance to outrounds and walk across the stage at that final showdown. And, for three years, I have been exactly one round away from making it. Every year, it's been a 3-3. But when I started TP, I was motivated to fight my hardest to make it to a national level and advance. My partner, Sarah, and I worked our tails off, printing evidence, writing cases and buying sourcebooks. We were going to be ready.

And, two weeks ago, my mom got a phone call from Mrs. Zitter. The date for the national championship this year is a little earlier than most of us had expected....especially for the Zitters. In fact, Sarah would be touring Europe that week with her choir, and wouldn't make it. 

Nationals in debate is completely out of the picture, for the whole year. 

I remember sitting down at my desk that day, and looking at the piles of sourcebooks scattered on my floor next to a neatly arranged row of file boxes. I'd competed in speech every year, but debate at nationals had always been where the focus was. Now?  No matter how hard Sarah and I worked, we couldn't go to nationals. We couldn't walk across the stage. We couldn't bring home a trophy. I couldn't break. I couldn't even go 3-3.

And that's when God put the question in my mind: Why are you doing this?  Or, more specifically Who are you doing this for?

Some of you might have seen this post that appeared on G+ that day:

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 Hannah David

Shared privately  -  Jan 3, 2014

 #God

If you're an NCFCA student, and you're reading this right now, could you do me a quick favor?

Sit down and ask yourself why you even bother to do debate.

I thought for 3 years I knew. But when priorities change? When plans don't go "as-planned"? Suddenly, you've gotta question whether you're really doing this "to address life issues from a Biblical worldview in a manner that glorifies GOD"......or if this is really more just for YOU.

Why do you show up to tournaments?  Cuz trophes gather dust. Even the big ones. Even my friend's shiny 4th-place National Championship cup. And people forget all the amazing things you did, and tournaments you won.

Don't lie to yourself...... is this actually "to glorify God"?  Or is that just a nifty little phrase you use as a Christian?

'Cuz tournament season's coming fast, y'all.  

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How does your life define "Victory"?  How do your goals define it?  How do you define it?

It is man-made trophies, non-lasting fame, and walking across a stage for two and half seconds of glory?  Maybe it's having that one guy over at the other table in the hangout room talk to you, or being seen as beautiful.  For each of us, it's something different. But how many of us define "victory" as living to the fullest for Jesus Christ?

How many of us are going to leave NCFCA without leaving our fingerprints on anyone's hearts?  How many of us are going to be so focused on breaking that we don't even see the pain of those who don't advance?

I'll be the first to admit that this was me last tournament season. I was so focused on myself. I didn't even try to be there for those that didn't break when I advanced to meet my goals, and I cried when I was that person at Regionals. My eyes were on trophies, on winning, on impressing, and on myself. And I had the nerve to do it all under a Christian label.

This year, my goals are different: I want to focus on Christ. I want to fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith who, for the joy set before Him, willingly endured the cross, scorning its shame. I want people to look at me, and see the love of Jesus. I don't want them to see me. I don't want them to see my trophies. I don't want them to see my colorful outfit, or impressive evidence cards. I want them to see a victorious life, being poured out to the fullest, for the Lover of my Soul.

I want to be ready for Him to break me. If I can touch someone more fully by not advancing to the next round, so be it. I want to live out the life He died to give me.

Join me?