It's hard to invest something, pray about it, and then be willing to give the reigns to God, even if it never comes to the fruition you wanted. Tournament season seems to bring this out in many people; I've heard so many of my friends discouraged after their competitive season ends, wondering why God would lay a speech topic or a burden that heavily on their heart, and not take them to the next level of competition to share their passion. The feeling goes beyond competition as well; sometimes, I wonder why God would lay it on my heart to start a conversation that seems to have His purposes, and then allow the other person to drop the topic halfway through. I wonder why God would lay a prayer burden on my heart, and not let the situation work out. I wonder why God would place a specific person in my life, only to lose the friendship a few years later when our paths would go different ways.
I have to wonder if David felt the same way. He was chosen by God to be the King of Israel, and follow in His footsteps. He was anointed by the prophet. God's word had been spoken over him. And then...he was sent back to take care of his flocks. God had a laid a burden on David's heart. He had told him the plans He had for him. But instead of setting David on Israel's throne immediately, God told him to wait. His normal life resumed for a few years. Then, in a turn of events that startled the nation, he defeated Goliath and became a great warrior. Surely this was his step toward becoming King. But instead, he was hunted and despised. He was forced to hide in a cave with his men, to protect their very lives. The road to become King was rocky, and unstable, causing him to cry out:
3 "My soul is in deep anguish.
How long, Lord, how long?"
How long, Lord, how long?"
-Psalm 6:3
But God knew the plans He had for this man... plans to prosper him, and not to harm him... plans to give him a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) While David saw only the valley, God saw the entire panorama. And He was in control of it, every step of the way.
Most of us have walked that path many times. We hear God's voice. He gives us a passion. We fight for it. We appear to lose. But so often, we forget who we're fighting for. If God gave you a passion, He will not leave you to fight for it in your own strength. You are His beloved, and He will not abandon you. He does not change; if it's from Him, He has a purpose for it, and that purpose, although it may be different than what we thought it would be, will be carried out to completion, no matter what stands against it.
We believe that God will carry out His plans to completion, but I think so often, we are afraid to trust Him to do it. We think we know better, and we create our own plans and expectations for a certain passion or situation. If it doesn't go the way we planned, we question why God wasn't there to help us...while ignoring that His plan is still in existence, and is far more beautiful than any plan we could create on our own. His plan may hurt, at times; it may not be what we wanted. His plan for a certain speech may be to inspire one life through your words, instead of taking you to finals at nationals. But, if your speech could change that life, wouldn't it be worth it? If your message could truly alter one person, does it matter whether or not the world sees you do it? Is this for your glory, or for His?
Surrendering our passions to God's plan is difficult, and can be painful. We still cling so desperately to the hope that our way could come to fulfillment, too... and many times, God blesses us by allowing that to happen. But ultimately, we have to trust that He knows what He's doing. If my plan stands in the way of His, then I want to be able to say "yes" to His, and let go of mine. I can only see the valley, but He sees the top of the mountain that He's bringing us to. He is in control.
"Let go, my soul,
And trust in Him.
The waves and wind
Still know His name...
And it is well
with me."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Worship Song:
"It Is Well",
by Bethel Music
by Bethel Music
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