In Over My Head

When I was younger, I never grasped the importance of worship. I remember going to church, standing up to sing, and mindlessly mouthing the words on the screen, while other thoughts filled my mind. It was so strange for me to see people lifting their hands in worship. I couldn't grasp the fact that people actually loved God. After all, we couldn't see Him or hear Him. I knew that Jesus loved me, and I was willing to be a good Christian for Him. But, whenever I heard of someone having an intimate relationship with Jesus, I always thought they were at least partly faking it, unless they were a pastor. I understood the fact that I could talk to God, and that He would show me the way to go. I prayed, and I believed He heard me.

But I didn't understand His love.

When I was twelve or thirteen, I began wrestling with this as I lay awake at night. I was beginning to appreciate the idea of God, as a concept, after starting apologetics. I would think about His omnipotence and omniscience, and how vast He was. But I would struggle, because I knew I didn't love Him. I wanted to; I saw people in my life now who were genuine Christians, and whom I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, weren't faking it.

At age fifteen, everything changed, and God began to answer my prayer that I would love Him. Ever since then, He has taken me on a journey of finding more of Him, and falling deeper into His love.

One of my favorite pictures foreshadowing the depth of who God is is painted in Ezekiel 47:

"The man brought me back to the entrance to the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east.... 2 He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was trickling from the south side.

3 As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. 4 He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. 5 He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross."

                                                                    -Ezekiel 47:1-5

Right now, the uncreated God of the universe, who freely gave His blood for you, is longing to call you out into that living water, until you are in over your head.

So often, we come to God with our needs, frustrations and desires. We start with ourselves, when we come before Him. And, while He does long for us to bring our needs before Him, that is not the first priority; it starts with Him. When Jesus told His disciples how to pray, He didn't forget their needs. He told them to ask for their daily bread, freedom from temptation, and the power to forgive. But that's not where He started. The first words weren't God, help me, but God, this is who You are. Our confidence in approaching His throne is not in who we are, but in who He is. He is our Father in heaven, who longs to answer the cry of His people. He is Holy, and will give us power over sin. Calling Him our Father is only the beginning; the attributes of God in the Bible are endless!  Seek Him out. Delve into His word. Pray scripture, as the church did in Acts 4. Think of who He has shown Himself to be in your life. Write those things down, and come back to it throughout the day, or when you enter the place of prayer. When your faith is tested, remind yourself who He is. Some of my favorite scriptures revealing who God is, are:

                                 Psalm 19
                                 Psalm 33
                                 Psalm 111
                                 Job 38
                                 John 1

Worship is another powerful way to draw closer to God. Worship music puts my heart in a posture of coming to Him, and loving God for who He is. It keeps my mind from wondering, and inspires me to seek Him more deeply. Corporate worship is a beautiful thing, but I would encourage you to go even beyond that and spend time in worship while you're alone with God as well. I love worshiping with others who are passionately seeking Jesus, but some of the most intimate moments of worship have been when I'm alone in my room at night, or driving in my car by myself.

Seek Him out; He longs to reveal Himself to those who desire Him with all of their hearts!  Get lost in His love, until you are in over your head.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~ 

Worship Song: 

"In Over My Head",
by Bethel Music (Jenn Johnson)

A Quiet Heart

"Jesus slept on  a pillow in the midst of a raging storm.

How could He?

The terrified disciples, sure that the next wave would send them straight to the bottom,

shook Him awake with rebuke. How could He so careless of their fate?

He could because He slept in the calm assurance that His Father was in control.

His was a quiet heart.

We see Him move serenely through all the events of His life - when He was reviled,

He did not revile in return.

When He knew that He would suffer many things and be killed in Jerusalem,

He never deviated from His course.

He had set His face like flint. He sat at supper with one who would deny Him

and another who would betray Him, yet He was able to eat with them,

wiling even to wash their feet.

Jesus, in the unbroken intimacy of His Father's love, kept a quiet heart."

I love these words of Elisabeth Elliot, in her book Keep A Quiet Heart. I'm inspired not only by her insight in these words, but by the way she lived them out. Many of you know her story. She waited five years for God to show her His will for her life with Jim Elliot, and whether or not they were called to be together. After only a couple years of marriage, Jim was martyred, and she was left alone, only to choose to go back and minister to the people who killed her husband, and forgive them. She was widowed twice, and experienced more tragedy than most of us can imagine. But, through it all, she kept a quiet heart. She was able to forgive, and to pour her life out drawing others closer to God, not because of who she was, but because of who she committed herself to. She trusted and loved God with all of her heart, soul, mind and strength, and rested in the knowledge of Him.

Anxiety is something with which we all wrestle, at some point. With school starting back up, it's easy to become overwhelmed by workloads and circumstances. This year is my last year of high school, and even the first week of the semester has brought much more change than I expected. Change hurts sometimes. It carries such a weight of uncertainty. This week, I watched some close friends move away to college. Not only was it hard to see them go, knowing how much we would miss them, but I was reminded that it would be my turn soon. And, even though God has given me a general direction of what the next step should be, there are still so many unknowns. I haven't decided on a college, or a major, even though I know the field I want to study. And beyond college, I have no idea what the plan might be.

I think we're used to hearing the idea that we're not in control. But how often does that translate into actually believing that we're not the ones writing our stories?  We structure our days, as though our time was our own. Is it?

Or think about your dreams for the future, whatever they might be. Are you able to bring them to completion on your own?

As humans, we are so often under the illusion that we are in control of our circumstances. And when something happens to show us the painful truth that we're not as sovereign as we thought, it's easy to become overwhelmed and afraid.

But here's what we forget: we were never in control to begin with. Even when we were blinded by the illusion of control, the reality didn't change. God always knew the plan. He always held the pen. He always knew what was best, and His promise to work all things for the good of those who love Him was unchanging.

He is in control, no matter what might come against us. The disciples were in the middle of a storm, about to lose their lives. But God was still in control. Jesus had peace, because He rested in that fact that His Father was on the throne.

This past week, I've been reflecting on Job 38, specifically verse 4. When Job cries out to God, asking for answer to His suffering, God doesn't give him a straight answer. Even though Job thought he wanted a reason for his pain, that wasn't what he needed. Instead of answering as Job wanted, God reminded him of who He was. "Where were you, when I laid the foundations of the earth? .... Who shut the sea behind doors?" 

Through these verses, God gave His servant a quiet heart. We are only a breath... a fleeting moment... from dust we were created, and to dust we will return. But God is eternal. He is beyond time. He laid the foundations of the earth. Why do we trust in ourselves instead of Him?

We are not in control. We never were, and it can be terrifying to come to that realization.

But the God who laid the foundations of the earth is holding your heart in His hands. In Him, we are safe through the storms of life.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~ 

Worship Song: 

"Let the Waters Rise",
by Mikeschair

The Strength of the King: His Hands

Over the past few weeks, the focus has been on the injustice of the world, and God's heart for those involved. It's an incredible subject to explore. But we can't leave it without responding, in our personal lives.

In church this morning, the message was related to fighting for justice and healing. One thought mentioned really stood out to me. $100 billion are poured into human trafficking in the U.S. every year. That's an unbelievable number. And yet how many people are taking action against it?  If someone spent $100 billion destroying golf courses, people would be outraged and take a stand to fight it. But few are doing the same, for one of God's precious daughters.

Jesus makes it clear throughout the Gospels that His body is not to despise these little ones, who are in need. It's easy to think that we're following that command. After all, I don't think any of us would claim to hate orphans, or have a personal prejudice against refugees. Isn't that the root of despising?

Not according to K.P. Yohannan, in his book No Longer a Slumdog. He points out that, according to the common dictionary, to despise means "to regard as unworthy of one's interest or concern". Isn't that exactly what we do, when we know about the injustices of the world, but refuse to take any stand whatsoever against them?  Through the unspoken language of the way we live our lives, we are sending the message loud and clear that these people are not worthy of our time and interest. They are not worth inconveniencing ourselves. They are not worth our lives, to be poured out at their feet.

Is that truly what we believe?

My goal in writing this is not to condemn, because I am lacking so much in this area. It's hard to fight. At this stage of life, as a single young woman not even finished with high school, it's easy to convince myself that there's nothing I can do. And it's true that there are limits to what I can do in this season of life.

But, if God has taught me nothing else in this season, it is that prayer works. On this side of the cross, we have a personal audience with the King of Kings, who has established justice in His right hand, and who is bringing His kingdom to earth, and He has promised to hear our cries, whenever we bring them to Him. We are not fighting against Him; it is His heart that breaks, and, through prayer, we partner with Him to see the things of heaven come to earth.

We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to a dying world. What better place to start, than by using those hands to grab onto that which was purchased on the cross?  He died for the weak, the broken, the oppressed, and He made it clear that any who reached out to them in His name had reached out to God Himself. Jesus took time for the outcasts, and the fallen. He did not overlook the destitute and the suffering. He came, not for those who were healthy, but for those who were sick, and needed His healing touch. The work of the cross was freedom from slavery, for all who are oppressed under the power of sin. We have been purchased by the blood of Jesus, for more than just to be forgiven from our sins. We have been purchased, adopted, and cherished that we might share that love, and be His hands to the broken.

I would encourage you this week, to seek God, and pursue what He has to lay on your heart. While injustice in general stirs compassion and anger in my heart, God has burdened me more specifically in certain areas, including orphan justice, the Middle East, and women trapped in the sex industry. Seek Him out, and find out what those areas are for you.

"For whatever you have done unto these least of these, you have done unto Me."

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~ 

Worship Song: 

"If We Are the Body",
by Casting Crowns

The Strength of the King: The Oppressors

They were laughing.

Laughter was a gift from God. It was designed to be precious, to spread joy. Laughter is an overflow of happiness that can't be contained inside... a phenomenon that changes the way a voice sounds, and transforms the entire expression on a face, into one of joy.


Laughter found its way onto the faces of members of ISIS that June day, as they stood outside the Turkish border, and turned away throngs of Syrian refugees trying to escape from their war torn homes into a place of safety just inches away. The men allowed them to get just close enough to see hope, without being able to touch it. In some sickening way, it brought them that joy.

Some injustices I hear about make me feel sympathy, or some kind of softer feeling, for those involved. But this one made me angry. It was so infuriating, to see something that God had created to be so beautiful, and the way the Enemy had perverted it. It was beyond imagination, that anyone could find that much enjoyment in sending innocent people to their deaths.

It's not hard to feel sorry for victims of injustice. We have a natural compassion for the oppressed. But I think how we view the oppressors can be just as defining. I believe with all of my heart that God stands for justice, and it was not His design that any of the oppression we see should take place. But I also believe that His love extends to the oppressors, as well.

The story of Daniel reflects oppression well. This young man was an enslaved refugee, separated from his home and his loved ones by the tyranny of the Babylonian king, Nebuchadnezzar. What was unjust, and God didn't stand by and watch; He raised up a mighty man of prayer, and eventually returned his people to their home. He didn't ignore what was happening to the victims; God freed them, and stood for justice in their lives. But one of the most incredible things in the story is that God doesn't just bring His light to the oppressed; He revealed Himself to a man who, according to historians and theologians, was arguably the most cruel, bloodthirsty, inhumane ruler in all the ancient world. One of the most amazing songs of praise to God was written by King Nebuchadnezzar himself:

"His dominion is an eternal dominion;

    his kingdom endures from generation to generation.

35 

All the peoples of the earth

    are regarded as nothing.

He does as he pleases

    with the powers of heaven

    and the peoples of the earth.

No one can hold back his hand

    or say to him: “What have you done?”

                                       -Daniel 4:34b-35

God didn't condone what Nebuchadnezzar did. But the power of forgiveness and redemption was stronger. God hates sin...His Word leaves no question on that issue. But He loves sinners. He died for them. For us. He forgave us, and, through the blood of Jesus, rescued us from our enslavement to the power of the enemy, and gave us the righteousness of Christ and the ability to walk in freedom.

As His followers, we are called to hate sin as well, both in our own lives and in the world around us. When injustice arises, we don't sit back and watch. But that doesn't mean hating the sinner. We are called to forgive, and show love, as His body.

Why?  Because we are no different. I know, we've dampened the effects of our sins. They seem so much smaller, through our earthly lenses. Even as I write this, it is so hard to reconcile in my mind the fact that on a spiritual level, my sin is as terrible as the atrocities of ISIS. But the Biblical model is clear. Jesus said in Matthew 5 that even one who becomes angry with his brother is guilty of murder, through the eyes of Heaven. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

But just as all have fallen, all are able to be rescued. There are stories coming out from all over the world that are horrifying... but there are also stories of unbelievable hope. The churches in dark corners of the world like China and Iran are growing underground at unbelievable rates. Former terrorists, even members of ISIS, are coming to know the love of Jesus.

There is hope, even for the oppressors.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~ 

Worship Song: 

"Break Every Chain",
by The Digital Age