In Over My Head

When I was younger, I never grasped the importance of worship. I remember going to church, standing up to sing, and mindlessly mouthing the words on the screen, while other thoughts filled my mind. It was so strange for me to see people lifting their hands in worship. I couldn't grasp the fact that people actually loved God. After all, we couldn't see Him or hear Him. I knew that Jesus loved me, and I was willing to be a good Christian for Him. But, whenever I heard of someone having an intimate relationship with Jesus, I always thought they were at least partly faking it, unless they were a pastor. I understood the fact that I could talk to God, and that He would show me the way to go. I prayed, and I believed He heard me.

But I didn't understand His love.

When I was twelve or thirteen, I began wrestling with this as I lay awake at night. I was beginning to appreciate the idea of God, as a concept, after starting apologetics. I would think about His omnipotence and omniscience, and how vast He was. But I would struggle, because I knew I didn't love Him. I wanted to; I saw people in my life now who were genuine Christians, and whom I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, weren't faking it.

At age fifteen, everything changed, and God began to answer my prayer that I would love Him. Ever since then, He has taken me on a journey of finding more of Him, and falling deeper into His love.

One of my favorite pictures foreshadowing the depth of who God is is painted in Ezekiel 47:

"The man brought me back to the entrance to the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east.... 2 He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was trickling from the south side.

3 As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. 4 He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. 5 He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross."

                                                                    -Ezekiel 47:1-5

Right now, the uncreated God of the universe, who freely gave His blood for you, is longing to call you out into that living water, until you are in over your head.

So often, we come to God with our needs, frustrations and desires. We start with ourselves, when we come before Him. And, while He does long for us to bring our needs before Him, that is not the first priority; it starts with Him. When Jesus told His disciples how to pray, He didn't forget their needs. He told them to ask for their daily bread, freedom from temptation, and the power to forgive. But that's not where He started. The first words weren't God, help me, but God, this is who You are. Our confidence in approaching His throne is not in who we are, but in who He is. He is our Father in heaven, who longs to answer the cry of His people. He is Holy, and will give us power over sin. Calling Him our Father is only the beginning; the attributes of God in the Bible are endless!  Seek Him out. Delve into His word. Pray scripture, as the church did in Acts 4. Think of who He has shown Himself to be in your life. Write those things down, and come back to it throughout the day, or when you enter the place of prayer. When your faith is tested, remind yourself who He is. Some of my favorite scriptures revealing who God is, are:

                                 Psalm 19
                                 Psalm 33
                                 Psalm 111
                                 Job 38
                                 John 1

Worship is another powerful way to draw closer to God. Worship music puts my heart in a posture of coming to Him, and loving God for who He is. It keeps my mind from wondering, and inspires me to seek Him more deeply. Corporate worship is a beautiful thing, but I would encourage you to go even beyond that and spend time in worship while you're alone with God as well. I love worshiping with others who are passionately seeking Jesus, but some of the most intimate moments of worship have been when I'm alone in my room at night, or driving in my car by myself.

Seek Him out; He longs to reveal Himself to those who desire Him with all of their hearts!  Get lost in His love, until you are in over your head.

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Worship Song: 

"In Over My Head",
by Bethel Music (Jenn Johnson)