More than Existence

"I'd die for you,

That's easy to say,

We all have a list of people that we would take

A bullet for them, a bullet for you

A bullet for everybody in this room

But there don't seem to be any bullets coming through."

- Twenty-One Pilots, Ride

I am going to open this devotional by expressing my love for Twenty-One Pilots. :)  I love the rawness of their lyrics, the variety of their music, and the meaning behind what they have to say. And I love this line of their song Ride because I think it describes so much of the struggle in the life of the westernized church.

I think we can all say that, in our day to day lives, there are no bullets coming through; no one is actively trying to take our lives for what we believe. A friend of mine recently pointed out that some churches focus so much on dying for the gospel that we forget to live for it.

So the question I want to ask you today is, in this season where no bullets are flying through, are you living or merely existing as a Christian?

Are you seeking God out, or simply hoping that He'll show up?  Is your desire to know Him, or to just get by and make it to heaven someday?

As adolescents, we're all in a really interesting season of discovering who we are. That season is intriguing, but it can be so painful because it brings with it the realization that we don't fully know who we are yet. It was so hard for me to admit that I was in the place of not knowing, because that season of life came for me after I had re-dedicated my life to Jesus. As a Christian who wanted to be on fire for Him, I was supposed to know who I was. I kept going back to the church cliche, that your identity is not in who you are, but in whose you are. It's a beautiful idea, but that doesn't mean it always resonates. Yes, I was God's. But I was still acting differently around different groups of people, to the point where I wasn't sure which one was the "real" me. I continually found myself putting on masks, without even realizing it.

I think it's most painful to wear a mask in the place of worship, and communion with God. Because, if anywhere, that is where there is no condemnation and that is where we can truly be ourselves. And a mask causes so much separation; not because God can't see through it to us, but because so often, we can't see through it to Him.

I'm going to be vulnerable right now and tell you that I don't like coming to God in brokenness, especially in corporate worship. It feels so unholy to bring your struggles before Him when you're supposed to be praising Him, so I tend to push them aside, and put on the mask of pretending to want Him, and pretending to believe that He is enough for me. Most times, I do want Him... but sometimes, it doesn't feel that way. And I leave wondering why I didn't encounter Him that time.

God has so much in store for our lives... but so often, we are content to simply exist behind a mask, because it is so much more comfortable than stepping onto the unknown frontier of a life with God.

Recently, I started reading a book called TrueFaced. It's an incredible, real, raw perspective on identity in Christ, and it has some earth-shattering truths. The authors write that at the root of wearing masks lies the need to hide. When Adam and Eve sinned, their first reaction was to run and hide from God in shame. So often, we're ashamed to be our true selves, and admit the messiness of our struggles to God. We make ourselves believe that we can still have the fullness of what He wants for us, while merely existing behind a mask.

This statement in the book is what caught my attention the most: You will never be more righteous than you are right now.

What??  Where did that even come from?  I'm broken, and disconnected, and so far from the fullness of what God has for me. Of course I'm going to be more righteous down the road; this isn't all there is.

But that's assuming that your righteousness comes from what you do. And if that's true, then the work of the cross is meaningless.

The miracle of God's love is that we are not saved by our own works or our own attempts at righteousness; when He looks at us, He sees the righteousness of Christ, and we can never add to that, or take away from it. If you are in Christ, you are in His righteousness, and that is how God sees you. That is your identity. There may be other facets of your personality that you're trying to work through, but that is who you are; you are not what you have done, but what Jesus has done for you.

He has freed you to walk beyond your masks. He has enabled you to have more than a mere existence. He has given you the chance to live.

There are not any bullets coming through; in this season, He may not be asking you to die for Him yet. But, in Him, you have the chance to more-than-exist; you have the opportunity live. Are you willing to?

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Worship Song: 

"Love is Moving",
by Audrey Assad