Wake Within Me

It's an unusual habit. It started this summer... I decided to lay down on my floor for a few minutes, exhausted from absolutely nothing. And I woke up... two whole hours later. I wish I could say it's not a usual occurrence. But it's happened several times since then. A "few minutes" can easily be turned into several hours... all it takes is the persuasion of lethargy, and a comfortable spot. 

I wouldn't consider myself a napper. I've only slept during the day about three or four times in the past year. But man... being tired is a powerful excuse to fall asleep, even if you're supposed to be doing other things. It's strange how sleeping in broad daylight can interrupt everything else. You lose hours of time that could have been spent productively. And it's hard to just "wake up" and go back to normal right after a good hour of sleep. My brain is still trapped by lethargy for awhile after. Problems can get frustrating. People can get frustrating!  

One of these "sleep attacks" was specifically memorable. I had a dream that I was being attacked in a tiny room, and I had no voice to cry out. One entire wall of the room was made of glass, and on the other side of that glass, people were sitting, and reading magazines in a waiting room. Yet no one got up to help me. I wondered if they could see me at all. They would have been able to... if they had looked up. But not a single one did. 

The more I think about this, the more powerful the reminder becomes; the church cannot sleep in broad daylight. We can't let apathy overtake us, we can't just read our own magazines, and forget about the burdens on God's heart, and the people He loves that we could rescue, if we would just look up, and see what is happening on the other side of that glass wall that we ignore!  

I think the church in American has fallen into a deep, deadly sleep. How far have we fallen when a nation "under God" will not even pray in His name, over 2,000 voiceless, innocent children are killed every week, the slave trade is more alive than at any other time in history, countless children do not live with their biological fathers, people in our inner cities are shooting each other and going over to Iraq to fight, and when the church is filled with people who only follow Christ with their lives on Sunday?   This Friday, Christine and I went to the mall. I started listening to the lyrics of the song that was playing, and the words became so perverted that I had to put in my headphones and play something else on my phone. How weak is the church when morals like these can be standard, and Christians are content to sing along to the music?

I know... you are so tired of hearing this. You know how broken our nation is becoming statistically. But abortion has become politicized to such a degree that we don't even feel anymore. Issues like these are just stagnant numbers in our minds. They don't ignite the church to fight. 

I want you to stop right now, and try to feel a genuine agony for one of the injustices in our nation. Try as hard as you can. Let tears flow out. Scream if you want. Just try feel for these people. 

I tried for almost two years. It doesn't work, does it?  The Enemy has done an incredible job of numbing our hearts, and filling us with apathy. And human compassion cannot bring back the fire in our lives. 

For a long time, I wanted to feel pain for the Christians in Iraq being persecuted by ISIS. I read their stories, and I had compassion for them. I felt bad for them. I would stay up at nights thinking about it. It burdened me.... but I could go on with life just like usual five minutes after reading the news headlines about the atrocities. I couldn't make myself be truly heart broken for these people. 

That is, until I opened my heart to God. It happened at a very inopportune time.... no one ever said the Christian life was going to be socially convenient. It happened on a Friday afternoon, right as our club was dispersing for debate class. I went to the restroom to get a kleenex, and suddenly, in a way I can't explain, He opened the floodgates. I had wanted to feel His burden for these people. I had even prayed that I would be so burdened that I would not be able to function socially, because my heart was so broken over these people. I was not thinking about missing the first half hour of debate class when I prayed that prayer. But I had no regrets. Nothing has ever felt so freeing, as an awakening of Christ in my heart. Even if it comes with pain. Even if it means getting someone else's blood, sweat and tears all over you.... someone on the other side of the world that you have never met. It's beautiful, because it's real. It's not something you have to force yourself to feel. It's not something you have to fake. Because it's not of you... it's His heart awakening within you. 

Where are the watchmen on the wall, who would commune with His heart, and never sleep in broad daylight?  Where are the ones who would defend His people and carry His burdens?  

2015 is four days old, and full of new beginnings. Let this be the year, where you look back, and can say without the shadow of a doubt: He woke me up. 

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Worship Song: 

"Wake" 

by Hillsong Young and Free

(upbeat, uplifting praise)