The Wasted Life

"I've wasted it!  I've wasted it.."

These were the words of a man who was saved near the end of his life. Before I heard this story as described by John Piper in his book Don't Waste Your Life, I had always thought conversions at the close of a life story were beautiful depictions of God's forgiveness and ability to change anyone. But this man, with tears streaming down his face, thought otherwise. He had finally encountered Jesus Christ and now, what was left?  He was going to see His king face to face. He was going to have eternal life. But the life he had been given in the here and now had been poured out over the things of the world. He recognized that he had been given a gift... and had wasted it. 

None of us wants to end that way. To look back on all that we've spent our entire lives on, and see that it was nothing. Life is precious beyond imagination. It's a kiss from heaven, the breath of God imparted to man, a one-time chance. I don't get my yesterdays back. And it breaks my heart to think about how many of them were wasted. How many more will I throw away? 

The idea of living a worthwhile life is not unique to Christianity. The culture is constantly telling us that we need to make something of ourselves. We have potential, that can't be thrown away. We owe it to ourselves to be the best. 

When I think of a wasted life, I think about something similar to the man in John Piper's book... a life spent chasing the things of the world and never truly understanding the love of Jesus. I believe that that love is all that matters. A life well spent is a life spent in that love, chasing it every waking minute, loving Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength....a life that will follow Him wherever He goes, even if it costs you everything. 

And when you pursue the life well spent...when you run the course, when you fight the good fight, when you finish the race, when you chase what matters, when you have faith in what is unseen, when you spend your life following Him and carrying your cross...the world is going to tell you you have wasted it. When you pour the best that you have - your very life - out at the feet of Jesus, they will tell you that you have just thrown away everything. 

And they wouldn't be the first. Jesus' own disciples said the same thing, when Mary of Bethany poured out the best that she had at the feet of Jesus:

3 While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.

4 Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? 5 It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages[a]and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.

6 “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 7 The poor you will always have with you,[b] and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. 8 She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. 9 Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world,what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

-Mark 14:3-9

One of the things that stands out to me most about this passage is that it's not just the world that will call a poured-out life for Christ a wasted life... in this chapter, it was Jesus' closest followers. Even other Christians may tell us we're wasting our lives by following. It's then that you have to ask, who am I really following?  Why do you want to live a fulfilled life?  It's so easy to want Jesus because He makes us look spiritual. In Christian circles like those we have in NCFCA, where we always pray before rounds and often encounter theology discussions in the competition hallways, there is such a strong temptation to want Jesus because of what He can give you. The question is, would you still pray if it was just you and Him alone in your closet that night?  Would you still press deeper into those theological concepts, with a thirst for Him?  Are you after Him, or them?  

It hurts to say this, because so often, I find myself wanting Jesus for what He can give me. But I have to wonder if even the lives of people like that man, who chased only the things of the world, were more full than some of ours?  Christians and non-Christians alike will chase the things of the world to find their fulfillment. But Christians do so under the banner of Jesus Christ. Are our lives any less wasted than theirs?

Last week, I found a song by a worship artist from the International House of Prayer that was inspired by this exact passage. The theme of the song is as simple as it is powerful; I will leave everything behind. I will pour out all that I have. I am willing to stand before the world, with nothing but what looks like a wasted life. I am willing to leave behind my own ambitions, my own dreams, my own loves from this world. The love of Jesus has moved me beyond anything else imaginable, and I will follow. In their eyes, I will waste my life. I will lose my life. 

Because in doing so, I will have found it. 

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~

Worship Song: 

"I Will Waste My Life", 
by Misty Edwards

(softer, reflective worship)

(if this song captures your attention, look up the next track on Misty's CD, written as a follow-up to this song,
called Do You Know The Way You Move Me)