The Cross

His firm, passionate voice broke as he read the words. The entire room was quiet with a heavy weight upon it. Some slipped out of the room with their heads bowed. Others reached into their purses for tissues. I felt the tears spilling out of my eyes, but it seemed so wrong to wipe them away. I was thankful I had left my hair down... it gave me something to hide behind.

Not that anyone was watching; the room was too full of the presence of Christ to notice much else. Sometimes, I had to wonder if He still felt the pain of crucifixion. It seemed as though we could, in some small, almost meaningless way, as the classroom lights flicked off for the second time and clips from The Passion appeared again on the classroom screen.

Never had I felt so ridiculous, so small, and so unbelievably loved as I did in that moment, when the Holy Spirit answered my prayer to encounter the cross more fully. It seemed so ridiculous that I had ever tried to fit something else in next to that terrible, painful, beautiful cross. Did it really matter if we got a debate slot to nationals that year?  Was it important that maybe some people did not see me as one of their closest or coolest friends?  Did I really need human validation?

But the feeling went beyond what I had wrongly pursued... there was so much more I had failed to do. I hadn't loved unconditionally. I hadn't washed the feet of those around me. I hadn't made communion with Him my highest good, for every waking moment of every day. I had clasped a cross around my neck, without being willing to live in its shadow.

Tomorrow, most of us are headed into the biggest qualifier of the year, in Lincoln. It's going to be exciting. Someone said 90% of the region is going to be there, and, looking at the confirmation list, I'm guessing that's a pretty reasonable estimate.

I've talked to so many people over the past few weeks about the struggle of focus. I am so easily distracted, and focus is one of my biggest struggles. Tournaments provide the atmosphere for extra distractions, and opportunities to lose focus.

Some of us will face those distractions in Lincoln this week. Others, who will not be at the tournament, will still be tempted and distracted, no matter where we are. But through it all, the cross is stronger.

At the foot of the cross, there is no room for anything but love. And at the foot of the cross, in Christ, the Enemy has no power over you. You have been freed to love those around you. You have been freed to talk openly to Jesus, whenever you need to. You have been freed to have access to the throne room of heaven itself. You have been freed to live for more than just yourself.

This week, before the tournament, or before whatever challenges and distractions you may face, I would encourage you to sit down and reflect on the cross. If you're like me, writing it out might help as well. This isn't going to be a long devotional, because, to be perfectly honest, I have no words of wisdom. I have nothing I can give you. I can only point you back to the cross. Today, if you truly believe in the power of the cross, spend some time losing yourself in its shadow.

Here are a few thoughts to reflect on:

    He was marred beyond human visage; He was a worm and no man.

    He prayed for your heart, in Gethsemene.

    He was silent, when accused.

    He forgave.

Even in His weakest moments, He was serving and protecting those He loved.

    Isaiah 52:13-15

    Isaiah 53

    Psalm 22

    Matthew 26-27

    John 17-19

This was one of my meditations on the cross, that I hope will encourage you. That reflection was longer, but often, my reflections are only a simple, broken, helpless cry for rescue. What I love about Jesus is that He hears and He answers, no matter how short, long, beautiful, or broken, the cry is. It's the heart He cares about.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith who, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, scorning its shame."

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Worship Song: 

"Lead Me To the Cross",
by Hillsong

(slower, reflective worship)